[begin page 428]
This sketch for the adventures of “little Satan, jr” with Huck and Tom, in St. Petersburg and in hell, immediately precedes in time the composition of “Schoolhouse Hill,” but bears a relationship to the “Schoolhouse Hill” fragment in only a few particulars. It was written shortly after 8 November 1898 in Notebook 32.
Story of little Satan, jr, who came to Petersburg (Hannibal) went to school, was popular and greatly liked by Huck and Tom who knew his secret. The others were jealous, and the girls didn't like him because he smelt of brimstone. This is the Admirable Crichton He was always doing miracles—his pals knew they were miracles, they others thought them mysteries. He is a good little devil; but swears, and breaks the Sabbath. By and by he is converted, and becomes a Methodist. and quits miracling. In class meeting he confesses who he is—is not believed; his new co-religionists turn against him as a ribald humbug. He believes it is his duty as a Christian to forgive the people who despitefully use him; thinks it also his Xn duty to hope for his father's pardon by God, and to pray for his papa—tries it; the church can't stand it. As he does no more miracles, even his palss fall away and disbelieve in him. When his fortunes and his miseries are at the worst, his papa arrives in state in a glory of hellfire and attended by a multitude of old-fashioned and showy fiends—and then everybody is at the boy-devil's feet at once and want to curry favor. He is grateful to hug his child to his breast once more, chides him gently for leaving hell without leave—but it was well enough to go out and try his hand at business and be competent for his future sovereignty—finds he has been rejected by Mary Lacy, who took him for crazy and who is now horribly sorry she didn't jump at the chance, since she finds that the Holy Family of Hell are not disturbed by the fire, but only their guests. Satan is glad his boy didn't marry beneath him—he is arranging with the shade of Pope Alexander VI to marry him to a descendant—and pending this he has allowed Aleck out on
[begin page 429]
When little Satan first came he was dreadfully profane, but good-natured, and would goodnaturedly thrash raftsmen, bullies, etc without letting it be seen that it was by miracle—and at jugglery shows he would go on the stage and not only make an omelet in a hat, but go on and make ice cream in it out of pounded glass, and mincepies out of sand and sawdust, and so on. But after conversion he bore brutal mistreatment without resentment, he tried to win the raftsmen to Christ, he talked goody-goody sappy Sunday school talk to them and was in all ways an unattractive person and suitable to a heaven of the Petersburg average breed of Xns.
In the early days he takes Tom and Huck down to stay over Sunday in hell—gatekeeper doesn't recognise him in disguise and asks for tickets—then is going to turn them out (it is raining) when LS privately tells who he is and is obsequiously received.
They see papa Satan on his throne under the vast crimson dome flaming with reflections from the pleasure Lake and they see the limitless red halls, palatial, full of sufferers swimming ashore but can't climb out—marble border too slippery. They help one or two out but the police interfere. They wipe the tears of the unbaptised babies roasting on the red hot floors—one is Tom's little niece that he so grieved to lose—still, as she deserves this punishment he is able to bear it (like Baxter looking over the balusters of heaven.)
These notes, in pencil, on a single sheet of mourning stationery, were probably written after Mark Twain laid aside the “Chronicle” manuscript in October 1898, but before he began composition of “Schoolhouse Hill” in November.
[begin page 430]
Loafer slips hand in his pocket to steal money—is grabbed by a harmless snake.
———
Animals are always infesting him.
He enters wounded tiger's cage & heals & pacifies it.
Being urged (it is a trick) he takes bare-back rider's place, & beats him & the jugglers out of sight
Proposes to join Pres. ch. Can't.
Starts cch of Society for Eradication
of the Moral Sense.
———
Faith Cure
Utterback
He preaches.
———
Incantations (witch)
Holy relics
But takes up no collection.
———
Virgin of this & that (cure)
Laying on of hands
This fills his pews.
Electric hands (Livy)
Enemies call frauds
Allopathy
Homeo
Water-CureⒶ
Pocket-potato for rheumatism
10,000 religions—& you not mad
You—intellectual!
If you had the sanity of the rats & other animals you would need no king
It is only madmen who need masters & looking after.
[begin page 431]
These notes, on an uncut sheet of Joynson Superfine paper, in black ink, probably preceded the composition of “Schoolhouse Hill.”
1
Jim Colby (telegraph)
Becky Thatcher (Laura Hawkins)
Lucy Wright (L) Capt. Wright (Bowen)
Nancy Pratt (Mary Lacy) Mrs. Pratt
Cathy Pratt (Mary Miller Squire Pratt, postmaster
Sally Fitch—(Bowen Sally)
Margaret Stover (Ousley) Merchant
Olive
Stover—(hunchback)Ⓐ
Fanny Brewster (Helen Kercheval) tailor above ‘Helen’
Cassy Gray (Artemissa Briggs).
Louisa Robbins (Mary Nash, bad.
Jenny Mason (Brady)
Sadie Hotchkiss (Hellfire) 15
Hank Fitch (Will Bowen
Sam “ (Sam “Ⓐ
Frank Robbins (Tom Nash, deaf & d.
Sid Sawyer
Crazy Fields
George Pratt (Bill Pitts)
Flip Coonrod
fool—½ idiot (Ben Coontz)Ⓐ
Buck Johnson Charley Flanders
(Charley
Buchanan)
Little Bob Turner— “
Bib “ “ “Ⓐ
Harry Slater (John Garth)
[begin page 432]
2
Jack Stillson (John Garth)
Henry Bascom (Beebe) the bully new rich man & slave trader
Jake his nigger
Ed. Sanders (Stevens) watch-maker
Kaspar Helder (poor little German cigar (Garth's d—dest.
David Gray (John Briggs).
Gill Ferguson (Dawson, pop-eyed)
H Sammy Wheeler (the timid)
Aunt Polly
Miss Pomeroy (Newcomb)
Torrey Foster (Torrey)
Widow Dawson (Aunt Betsy Smith)
“Guthrie (Mrs. Holliday)
Mrs. Wheelright (Dutchka)
Dr. Wheelright (Dr. Peake)
Judge Taylor (pa) (Draper) magistrate
Deacon Hotchkiss & wife (Orion & Pamela)
interested in quack ways of curing
change religions
As were most of the working notes for “Schoolhouse Hill,” this sheet was written on the same paper and in the same ink as the manuscript. It was interleaved between MS pp. 18 and 19 at 181.9–10 in the text, and evidently was written as those pages were composed.
[begin page 433]
In school he must do all those books—200 30—in average of 3 5 minutes each—300 p. each—1 p. per second. Does the 30 books in 2½ hours.
This group consists of sixteen half-sheets of Joynson Superfine paper, in faint black ink, with later additions and corrections in pencil which have been rendered in boldface type. There is a break in the notes between D-5 and D-6. Forty-four appears in the notes as “404” or “94” through D-5, which is on the verso of a draft-letter to Henry Rogers dated 17 November 1898. D-1 through D-5 were probably written before the composition of “Schoolhouse Hill” and D-6 through D-16 after the first chapters were composed.
1
He is courteous to whores & niggers.
Has been a week a month 2 days in Paris & knows French, Spanish Italian German Latin & Greek. &c
Learns English in 2 days.
He is 15. Pretty mature, though.
Smiles “our property” when he sees Injun Joe & Jimmy Finn.
Cheery & good-natured, with an immortal's contempt for evanescent mortals, & can no more be angry with such, or insulted by them than by the tumble-bug to which he compares them.
Wonders at their interest in life—not worth the trouble; & at their childish ambitions to be circus clowns or kings or constables or Congressmen.
[begin page 434]
And they have to work so hard with clumsy hands & minds & their almost non-existent memories, to acquire & keep knowledge or an accomplishment of any kind—whereas
2
The cat & dog & mice X
he masters the principles of an art or a science in a few hours, then in a few more he is perfect in it—piano, flute, skating, shooting, swimming, diving, astronomy, mathematics, drawing, painting, boxing, the bow (gauging the wind & distance by feet & inches).
Reads a book once & can never forget a detail of it, nor on what page & p line any detail is.
Recites in school. Takes all prizes.
X Always doing miracles—sometimes unconsciously. Does Indian jugglery—makes flowers & fruits spring up; makes clay birds & animals & gives them life.
X Gives life to a child's dough chickens & cats.
People who try to strike him (schoolmarm) & roughs—can't. Bricks, sticks & bullets don't har get to him.
3
He is made of air X
X Walks through fire. Saves child—building falls in, he walks out.
Spins top.
Smells of brimstone at first.
X food.
Appears & vanishes through bolted doors, like nothing.
On Lovers' Leap has a witches Sabbath & Tom & Huck see myriad devils &c
When he comes he knows nothing about men—has seen them in hell only. Never been from home before. Has run away this time.
[begin page 435]
By & by falls in love with Annie Fleming the Pres. pastor's girl child.
Can't understand prayer; “if you want a thing, have it.”
He doesn't feel fire or pain, & can't comprehend how papa's prisoners or any one else can. Thinks it is all imagination.
Says men are moved by one impulse—selfishness—tries to prove it. This talk is with Rev. Fleming.
X Finds papa in books & Bible
4
He is Admirable Crichton—by & by all but Tom & Huck jealous & hostile. Conspire against him—he doesn't care.
Finally gets religion & stops doing miracles—allows himself to be struck, abused & insulted—turns the other cheek.
Prays for papa. All has gone well till then. He is turned out of the church for this.
X Is always transporting Tom & H to the ends of the earth in a jiffy—to fetch things needed to get them out of difficulties.
Animals are afraid fond of him & slink away when he comes.
They all follow him. He can talk with them.
X
No one knows where he eats & sleeps but H & T—it is in Paris.
Papa has his chief agency there.
X
5
Slaughterhouse Point
Arrives at school. Calls himself 404—gives no other name. Dresses well. Pocket full of money
X Always has a half dollar & $5 & no more—but it never fails; pays his way; wants no change. Says his people are rich.
X Turns himself into birds, animals, fleas, &c. Sometimes electric blue flames play about him
[begin page 436]
Takes to T & H at once, & they to him. Want to cross river, go fishing; no boat; wants them to fly over; can't understand why they can't; very well, he will fetch a boat,—disappears suddenly & comes rowing back from over river.
Has no fear of crosses & holy names—says papa hasnt. Says his papa has not been cheated by monks &c—a lot of Middle-Age lies. T & H go to hell on a visit. He doesn't know in margin
Papa doesn't buy souls—can get plenty for nothing.
He is No. 404 94 Prince of the vintage of a certain century—doesn't know which one—no curiosity—hasn't inquired. X
Soon picks up all languages.
6
Old Ship of Zion
Cross's schoolhouse on P. S.
S. H. Hill
A coasting hill.
Cadets of Temperance
Sunday school procesh & picnic
Campbellite revival
Campmeeting
I O O F
Masons (procesh)
Fire Company Big 6 Joe Buckner (Raymond
Mesmerism
Nigger Minstrels
Spirit rappings
Materializing
Knot-tying (Davenport)Ⓐ
44 joins the Cadets
Often wishes he was in hell.
Tells his secret in confidence to everybody in town—with an awful threat—so each thinks he alone possesses it—& each tries to get an advantage out of it.
Bessie Strong tries to convert him.
[begin page 437]
A Barnum wants to exhibit him
He must perform for a ch charity. Would it be right to use such money.
7
Why has he come to the world?
———
635 years ago he saw for the third time a human being thinks, a man; ages before he had seen two at wide intervals of time, but they were too far away to be clear: one a man, he thinks, the other he thinks a child, but only head & shoulders showing, & they tossing so, in their torment (he sees now it was torment, but that was only a name to him then, he has had no personal experience of pain or unhappiness, papa's crime has not descended) couldn't make much out; they soon disappeared behind the billows.
But he talked with the third, & determined to go to the world next day & examine this curious race—& he has done it. “But this isn't next day.”
“Yes, by our count it is.”
8
He has come out of mere curiosity to see what perishable men are like; but now that he has read all about them, he hopes to find a way to rid them of the Moral Sense; they can not get to heaven without that, still, it is worth while, because without it this life wd be innocent & happy, &, brief as it is it would be better to be happy than unhappy. He must think out a way. half-circled
His associates have always been his devil-relatives brothers & sisters.—a vast multitude, not named, but numbered. They have no wives nor children—there is no third generation.
They probably do not know their papa's history, as they have
[begin page 438]
9
Has never seen a human girl or woman until now. Except in heaven
X Hellfire Hotchkiss./Annie Fleming. He feels a strange & charming interest in her. By the books he gathers that this is “love”—the kind that sex arouses. There is no such thing among his brothers & sisters. He studies it in the books. It seems very beautiful in the books. Presently the passion for Hl grows—becomes absorbing—is mutual. Papa uneasy—he is the only person who knows 44's secret. 44 sees that the happiness of hell —which is purely intellectual— is tame compared to this love. emphasis added in pencil He has found more in this random visit to earth than he bargained for. X
In time he is obliged to tell his secret to Hl—horror! S Heartbreaking scene. He has done wrong? Denies it. The word has no real meaning to him, but only a
10
pallid dictionary meaning. The thing does not exist to his feeling & comprehension. How?
Thought is merely a clumsy & inadequate translation of feeling into speech. If we are so made that we can't feel right & wrong then the words are mere air to us—the same as they would be to a grasshopper.
“It is like pain (physical). You may talk about it all you like, I get only the dictionary/intellectual meaning, not the shadow of a real comprehension, for I have never felt a pain. You must feel a
[begin page 439]
11
music of the spheres. Is it actual music to your ear? No. Then the term is empty to you. To me it is ravishing—forever changing, never silent. How do you know, when a comet has swum into your system? Merely by your eye or your telescope—but I, I hear a strange sweet minor tone brilliant far stream of sound come singing winding across/through the firmament of majestic sounds & I know the splendid stranger is there without looking. Don't you see that to you people the phrase music of the spheres is wholly meaningless, wholly unfeelable,—like right & wrong to me?
(He suffers when they play piano, guitar, violin, banjo, flute—& sing. But he makes divine music himself. It is because he is listening to the music of the spheres & reproducing it. It makes the audience drunk
12
with delight—this is because his translation of it is coarsened & brought down to the low grade of their feeling; just as you can dilute champagne with milk until a cat will like it, & prefer it to straight milk, & get drunk on it. What is champagne? I don't know; but by reading I perceive that it is the finest & most delicate of wines.
D Vast dimensions of hell—which is a pigmy to heaven. Only our Adam fell—hl is for his chn alone; in the other worlds the Adams & the rest live millions of years till burnt out like the moon, then are ferried over to heaven with their animals. All our our animals go
[begin page 440]
Thinks if he can remove man's vanity, his Moral Sense may follow; his vanity in attributing merits to himself; & his fool idea that Selfishness is shameful; he didn't make it, & can't be the wisest thing
13
he can do is to raise its ideals & make it help toward making this life pleasant for all.
He has examined Selfishness by the books & found out that men have a misconception of the thing, consequently they have clothed the word with the rags of that misconception & made it a whereas they should clothe it in its proper garb the white of innocence. For it is innocent & remains so—it can do no wrong.
He has been in heaven; so vast; meet plenty of people from other worlds; & at long, long intervals a Presbyterian. They are not popular—avoided. Considered “queer” & of a low grade because they have been defiled with the Moral Sense.
Heaven is not according to a history which he has been reading “Pilgrim's Progress;” it is not so small; & Presbyterians are not so plenty as that.
14
He has read up, now, & knows all about papa & about Christ's great sacrifice for the Presbyterians. Admires Christ deeply. Likes to go to Church & SS & listen—at first. But quits, because they say such things about papa & his place.
He didn't know, before, that people suffered in Hl, & he doesn't feel it or appreciate it now. Is it the way the spectacle of a misdone Euclid problem makes one feel? “Oh, the feelings are not at all the
[begin page 441]
Has read the 300 600 books, now, 300,000 pages in 160 hours of actual reading—he doesn't sleep, but loses time talking & at meals. This education has occupied him 10 days.
He can 't feel sudden anger, like an animal, but can't hold it; can't conceive of the spirit of revenge; nor of avarice, nor of
15
hoarding, nor of envy, nor of “ambitions” of any kind; nor of jealousies; nor of adulations; nor of obsequiousnesses; (to monarchs or any) nor of slaveries; nor of humilities; admir thinks well of the cat because she is the only independent; says there is no such thing as an independent human being—all are slaves; no such thing as freedom of thought freedom of opinion, freedom in politics & religion
Man is a poor thing; but if he can get back his original innocence he will be fine & worthy. sidelined
44 can love, like dog & others; & trust, like dog & others.
Praises of him he cannot understand—they are due to his Maker solely, he —bring this forward at ONCE.
16
The sense of humor—what is that—in the books? Is rejoiced to find he it is in him, though in a sort of atrophied condition; but knows that even the smallest seed can be developed.
When they laughed in school he didn't understand it—had never heard a laugh before. Thinks it wd improve heaven & his part of hell to import it.
And he couldn't understand the teacher's praise of his modesty; why should he be vain of his gifts & take credit for them?—they came from his Maker.
[begin page 442]
These notes consist of four consecutively numbered half-sheets of Joynson Superfine paper in black ink. E-2 is on the verso of a canceled p. 67 of the “Schoolhouse Hill” manuscript. The notes must have been written after that page was discarded.
1
Nephew Son of Satan.
———
This world was 2 M yrs ago.
Man has been in it 7,000 yrs.
Remember seeing it made.
Satan ate the apple (& acquired not the knowledge of good & evil for he had that before, but the disposition to do evil (—as the sparks to fly upward or the water to run down hill.
He Adam acquired the Moral Sense from the apple in a diseased form—insanity of mind & body; it decayed his body, filled it with disease-germs, & death resulted.
The angels have the Moral Sense, but not in diseased form—just the other way, the healthy way, disposition to avoid evil & dislike it. They are sane,
I was born in heaven; my father is an uncles are archangel s, but it is
2
is no particular distinction; we have no rank-ambitions—care nothing for them.
[begin page 443]
Heaven is merely for God & the angels—these exist in billions—& for the people from this world. It is so recent that you see few; the Christians are so very recent that I ran across none.
Hell is solely for this world—the other Adams did not eat the apple, & the people & the animals never die. The animals in Heaven came from here—there are none in hell.
Satan has been in hell but 7 days, now; I have not seen him for 6 months (150,000 years). I am so sorry for him—it is dreary there.
Our hour is about 41⅔ of your years.
I have myriads of several thousand brothers & sisters in hell—born since the Fall; I & another a myriad were born before the Fall. We often go & play with those others, but they
3
can't come to see us. They can come to me here, & they like to; will serve me gladly. It gives them a holiday & they cool off. They have horns, spiked tail & hoof, like papa. They are a part of the disease. They like to do wrong, I suppose—in fact they must, since they, like papa & you are morally & mentally insane. Satan's original host have large families
If you could only get rid of the Moral Sense—& he!—& be like the animals; they haven't it, & Adam hadn't it. If you & he could be like the animals. The apple diseased his moral body & he feels the fire—he & Adam could not feel pain before, but only pleasure. I cannot feel pain either of body or mind, but only pleasure.
I have an intellectual knowledge notion of what pain is, but & an intellectual compassion for a sufferer, but as I don't know what pain is I can't feel the compassion. I am intellectually sorry for comets that are lost, but I cannot cry about it. No doubt you can.
[begin page 444]
4
The redeemed in heaven—I will go & hunt one up & see what he is like. Ah—he is disappointed. happy. Has lost the moral sense & is like the animals—& like the angels, who know evil but dislike it.
I find they are just like the immortals in the other planets.
I am No. 45 in in New series 9 86,000,000. I have seen all my brothers & sisters at one time or another, & know them by Number & features. There are some billions of them—all in heaven except the few millions thousands born in hell in the past 7 days.
These notes are on two sheets of Joynson Superfine paper in black ink. They were written during the composition of “Schoolhouse Hill,” but cannot be dated more precisely.
1
Dr. Terry, great surgeon
contempt for human race
rough, but at bottom kind
Use the whole “Conscience” list
of religions for Major—“when I
was a x x x”
David Home's “Control”
Mrs. Hooker & John 's (Mr. & Mrs Horr) “Control” told them what to eat, drink, think, believe (& so they had become quit Presby—before,) they & what to wear & how to vote. Mrs. H's self-sufficiency & talent, John's docility, & absence of any special talent except utter belief in his wife & God.
The Unbeliever Bob Ingersoll (Ira Jepson) (vain of it—just as the ex-Cath priest (very few Irish) was vain of his desertion &
[begin page 445]
Better get up a Catechism. Yes, 44 will do it. And it is printed: “Conscience” &c
Bring in corpses & examine microbes
Pass all the animals through, devils riding.
2
Swedenborgian
Report that Ferg., Meadows, & Major were drunk—hence the amazing reports. These men are not believed & they lose character 44 disappears, after catechism is printed & distributed—leaves the leaven to work & be discussed. It is attacked in conversation (pulpit?); some think successfully, some not. 44 as its author presently ignored —he does not exist, except in those drunken imaginations—Major must be the author. His denials are doubted.
“Go to bed & rest—begin next night; he will bring the others every night & take them back, per little devils. Meantime he will inspect the world daytimes & devour libraries for ten days.
This group of miscellaneous notes consists of five half-sheets of Joynson Superfine paper, written in pencil with additions in black ink. The additions in ink are rendered in boldface type.
G-1, G-2 (on the verso of G-1), and G-4 were grouped with the “Chronicle” working notes by DeVoto but both physical and internal evidence seem to place them with the notes for “Schoolhouse Hill.”
[begin page 446]
His Sermon —
he is starting an Anti-Moral
Sense church.
Everything is insane—upside down.
The idle sit on thrones, the workers in the gutter
Seduced girl is punished, not the seducer
You say truth is mighty—the very words are a lie—
Murder will out
Might is right
Your Napoleons want a fame which shall remain in this potatoe after they have ascended into
I was present when some of the vast suns were swung out to light this potatoe
You say killing is wrong & persuasion right—& you spend all your money on wars & none on arbitration.
You punish attempted suicides—whereas if a man owns anything at all (according to your own scheme of life) it is his life—a foolish possession
2
you call life a gift to be grateful for—a boon—you mean the opposite
you generally decide that a suicide—the only tolerably sane person among you—is temp. insane.
Your silly race is the despair of the few wise—& otherwise; but you all try to hide it—& y you call Pessimist names. You are all insane.
You speak admiring of the innocence of the lamb, yet wd not be innocent on the same terms
———
Papa ate apple & has moral sense
———
But none of us ch'n—for we
[begin page 447]
Like Adam he disobeyed like a dog & with a dog's merely intellectual conception of the guilt (& that is worthless—you have to feel a thing to comprehend it—there is no thought
3
Fortunatus purse—get anything
out of pocket
sketch of thermometer
In what do you differ from a thermo—a hand on your ball will raise you, but you can't put the hand there, & it would not be possible for you to originate the idea of wishing you would put it there—it must come from outside.
———
Devil's Sunday-School
The ?s & answers of “Conscience.”
———
Dr. Wheelwright—This It is my opinion that there is something supernatural about this
His wife nods her head as much as to say there—now you've got the explanation
———
Sign of X—crow not afraid of it.
———
Approves the Savior as God —praises him.
———
4
Adam's birth was 8500 million years ago.
Why am I a boy at 5,000,000?
The race has not changed a single shade in that time.
Ad would disobey—so wd you; Cain was jealous; so are you; a
[begin page 448]
———
Ranks. Your redeemed woreear crowns, aureoles, halos, for you are a childish lot & delight in vanities for the eye as glass beads delight savages. Your new Jerusalem & your pearly gates & so on—rather loud taste. And the music there!
You haven't changed one shade, in tastes or otherwise in 8500 million yrs.
AB 1
No luggage, no wash.
Plenty clothes—ain't
dressed as he was.
Blizzard. Hannah
Annie plays music—he suffers—finds her at home when he gets there. Then he plays?
Savage dog. Animals were Adam's loving servants. And so are his Talks with them. half-circled
He is made of air. Loaded the cat. circled
Takes from his pocket anything;
but it is previously empty. “Allow
me”—& he pulls a hairpin or
anything—candle.
Furnishes food.
50 cents & $5.
Finds papa in books & Bible
Turns himself into birds,
fleas, &c
Vanishes
Nigger Jake is sent to
When sense of humor is complete, he does the materializing at seances.
For the moment, Hotch is spiritualist, but not his Presbyterian wife.
Describe H's, Annie, Aunt Rachel & Uncle Jeff.
His church prospers—for they don't take up a collection. Also, he gives away money freely. in left margin
[begin page 449]
Chess, cards, checkers,—stocking the cards. Drawing, painting.
He quickly learns to talk with Tom Nash, then improves on the system.
Electricity Pipes—cigars. half-circled
1
Bring slathers of little red, behind cooling devils to print ms Bible &
feed the whole town (cold plate from cubboard to sit on pants—money—touch of love—blizzard—
———
Bible—sermons—dialogues—in Appendix