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Previous: Schoolhouse Hill (1969 ed.), Chapter 4
Schoolhouse Hill (1969 ed.), Chapter 5
Next: Schoolhouse Hill (1969 ed.), Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Hotchkiss sank into his chair weak and limp, and began to pour out broken words and disjointed sentences whose meanings were not always clear but whose general idea was comprehensible. To this effect: from custom bred of his upbringing and his associations he had often talked about Satan with a freedom which was regrettableemendation, but it was really only talk, mere idle talk, he didn't mean anything by it; in fact there were many points about Satan's character which he greatly admired, and although he hadn't said so, publicly, it was an oversight and not intentional—but from this out he meant to open his mouth boldly, let people say what they might and think what they chose—

The boy interrupted him, gently and quietly—

I don't admire him.”

Hotchkiss was hard aground, now; his mouth was open, and remained so, but no words came; he couldn't think of anything [begin page 213] judicious to say. Presently he ventured to throw out a feeler—cautiously, tentatively, feelingly, persuasively:

“You see—well, you know—it would be only natural, if I was a devil—a good, kind, honorable devil, I mean—and my fatheralteration in the MS was a good, kind, honorable devil against whom narrow and perhaps wrongful or at least exaggerated prejudices—”

“But I am not a devil,” said the boy, tranquilly.

Hotchkiss was badly confused, but profoundly relieved.

“I—er—I—well, you know, I suspected as much, I—I—indeed I hadn't a doubt of it; and—although it—on the whole—oh, good land, I can't understand it, of course, but I give you my word of honor I like you all the better for it, I do indeed! I feel good, now—good, and comfortable, and in fact happy. Join me—take something! I wish to drink your health; and—and your family's.”

“With pleasure. Now eat—refresh yourself. I will smoke, if you don't mind.alteration in the MS I like it.”

“Certainly; but eat, too; aren't you hungry?”

“No, I do not get hungry.”

“Is that actually so?”

“Yes.”

“Ever? Never?”

“No.”

“Ah, it is a pity. You miss a great deal. Now tell me about yourself, won't you?”

“I shall be glad to do it, for I have a purpose in coming to the earth, and if you should find the matter interesting, you can be useful to me.”alteration in the MS

Then the talking and eating began, simultaneously.

[ ] textual note

“I was born before Adam's fall—”

“Wh-at!”

“It seems to surprise you. Why?”

“Because it caughtalteration in the MS me unprepared. And because it is six thousand years ago,alteration in the MS and you look to be only about fifteen years old.”

“True—that is my age, within a fraction.”

“Only fifteen, and yet—”

[begin page 214]

“Counting by our system of measurement, I mean—not yours.”

“How is that?”

“A day, with us, is as a thousand years with you.”explanatory note

Hotchkiss was awed. A seriousness which was near to solemnity settled upon his face. After a meditative pause he said—

“Surely it cannot be that you really and not figurativelyemendation mean—”

“Yes—really, not figuratively. A minute of our time is 41⅔ years of yours. By our system of measurement I am fifteen years old; but by yours I am five million, lacking twenty thousand years.”

Hotchkiss was stunned. He shook his head in a hopeless way, and said, resignedly—

“Go on—I can't realize it—it is astronomy to me.”

“Of course you cannotalteration in the MS realize these things, but do not be troubled; measurements of time and eternityalteration in the MS are merely conveniences, they are not of much importance. It is aboutalteration in the MS a week ago that Adam fell—”

“A week?—Ah, yes, your week. It is awful—that compression of time! Go on.”

“I was in heaven; I had always livedalteration in the MS in heaven, of course; until a week ago, my father had always lived there. But I saw this little world created. I was interested; we were all interested. There is much more interest attaching to the creation of a planet than attaches to the creation of a sun, on account of the life that is going to inhabit it. I have seen many suns created—many indeed, that you are not yetalteration in the MS acquainted with, they being so remotely situated in the deeps of space that their lightalteration in the MS will not reach here for a long time yet; but the planetsalteration in the MS—I cared the most for them; we all did; I have seen millions of them made, and the Tree planted in the Garden, and the man and the woman placed in its shade, with the animals about them. I saw your Adam and Eve only once; they were happy, then, and innocent. This could have continued forever, but for my father's conduct. I read it all in the Bible in Mr. Ferguson's school.alteration in the MS As it turned out, Adam's happinessalteration in the MS lasted less thanalteration in the MS a day—”

“Less thanalteration in the MS one day?”

[begin page 215]

“By our reckoning, I mean; by yours he lived nine hundred and twenty years—the bulk of it unhappily.”alteration in the MS

“I see; yes, it is true.”

“It was my father's fault. Then hell was created, in order that Adam's race might have a place to go to,alteration in the MS after death—”

“They could go to heaven, too.”

“That was later. Two days ago. Through the sacrifice made for them by the son of God, the Savior.”alteration in the MS

“Is hell so new?”

“It was not needed before. No Adam in any of the millions of otheralteration in the MS planets had ever disobeyed and eaten of the forbidden fruit.”

“It is strange.”

“No—for the others were not tempted.”

“How was that?”

“There was no tempter until my father ate of the fruit himself and became one. Then he tempted other angels and they ate of it also; then Adam and the woman.”

“How did your father come to eat of it this time?”

“I didalteration in the MS not know at the time.”alteration in the MS

“Why didn'talteration in the MS you?”

“Because I was away when it happened; I was away some days, and did not hear of italteration in the MS at all and of the disaster to my father until I got back;alteration in the MS then I went to my father's place to speak with him of it; but his trouble was so new, and so severe, and so amazing to him that he could do nothing but grieve and lament—he could not bear to talk about the details; I merely gathered that when he made the venture it was because his idea of the nature of the fruit was a most erroneous one.”

“Erroneous?”

“Quite erroneous.”

“You do not know in what way it was erroneous?”alteration in the MS

“Yes, I think I know now. He probably—in fact unquestionably —supposed that the nature of the fruit was to reveal to human beings thealteration in the MS knowledge of good and evil—that, and nothing more; but not to Satan the great angel; he had that knowledge before. We [begin page 216] always had it—always. Now why he was moved to taste it himself is not clear; I shall never know until he tells me. But his error was—”

“Yes, what was his error?”

“His error was in supposing that a knowledge of the difference between good and evilalteration in the MS was all that the fruit could confer.”

Didalteration in the MS it confer more than that?”

“Consider the passage which saysalteration in the MS man is prone to evil as the sparks to fly upward explanatory note. Is that true? Is that really the nature of man? —I mean your man—the man of this planet?”

“Indeed it is—nothing could be truer.”

“It is not true of the men of any other planet. It explains the mystery. My father's error stands revealedemendation textual note in all its nakedness. The fruit's office was not confined to conferring the mere knowledge of good and evil, it conferred also the passionate and eager and hungry disposition to do evil.alteration in the MS Prone as sparks to fly upward; in other wordsalteration in the MS, prone as water to run down hill—a powerful figure, and means that man's disposition is wholly evil, uncompromisingly evil, inveterately evil, and that he is as undisposed to do good as water is undisposed to run up hill. Ah, my father's error brought a colossal disaster upon the men of this planet. It poisoned the men of this planet—poisoned them in mind and body. I see it, plainly.”

“It brought death, too.”

“Yes—whatever that may be. I do not quite understand it. It seems to be a sleep. You do notalteration in the MS seem to mind sleep. By my reading I gather that you are not conscious of either death or sleep;alteration in the MS that nevertheless you fearalteration in the MS the one and do not fear the other. It is very stupid. Illogical.”

Hotchkiss put down his knife and fork andalteration in the MS explained the difference between sleep and death; and how a person was not sorry when asleep, but sorry when deadalteration in the MS, because—because—

He found it was not so easy to explain why as he had supposed it was going to be; he floundered a while, then broke down. But presently he tried again, and said that death was only a sleep, but that the objection to it was that it was so long; then he remembered [begin page 217] that time stands still when one sleeps, and so the difference between a night and a thousand years is really no difference at all so far as the sleeper is personally affected.

However, the boy was thinking, profoundly, and heard none of it; so nothing was lost. By and by the boy said, earnestly—

“The fundamental change wrought in man's nature by my father's conduct must remain—it is permanent; butalteration in the MS a part of its burden ofalteration in the MS evil consequences can be lifted from your race, and I will undertake it. Will you help?”

He was applying in the right quarter. Lifting burdens from a whole race was a fine and large enterpriseemendation, and suited Oliver Hotchkiss's size andalteration in the MS gifts better than any contract he had ever taken hold of yet. He gave in his adhesion with promptness and enthusiasm, and wanted the scheme charted out at onceemendation. Privately he was immeasurably proud to be connected in business with an actual angel and son of a devil, but did what he could to keep his exultation from showing. The boy said—

“I cannot map out a definite plan yet; I must first study this race. Its poisoned condition andalteration in the MS prominent disposition to do evil differentiateemendation it radically from any men whom I have known before, therefore it is a new race to me and must be exhaustively studied before I shall know where and how to begin. Indefinitely speaking, our plan will be confined to ameliorating the condition of the race in some ways in this life; we are not called upon to concern ourselves with its future fate; that is in abler hands than ours.”

“I hope you will begin your studies right away.”

“I shall. Go to bed, and take your rest. During the rest of the night and to-morrow I will travel about the globe and personally examine some of the nationalities, and learn languages and read the world's books in the several tongues, and to-morrow night we will talk together here. Meantime the storm has made you a prisoner. Will you have one of my servants to wait on you?”

A genuine little devil all for his own! It was a lovely idea, and swelled Hotchkiss's vanity to the bursting point. He was lavish with his thanks.

[begin page 218]

“But he won't understand what I say to him.”

“He will learn in five minutes. Would you like any particular one?”

“If I could have the cunningalteration in the MS little rascal that sat down in the fire after he got cooled off—”

There was a flash of scarlet and the little fiend was present and smiling; and he had with him some books from the school; among them the French-English dictionary and the phonographic shorthand system.

“There. Use him night and day. He knows what he is here for. If he needs help he will provide it. He requires no lights; take them,alteration in the MS and go to bed; leave him to study his books. In five minutes he will be able to talk broken English in case you want him. He will read twelve or fifteen of your books in an hour and learn shorthand besides; then he will be a capable secretary. He will be visible or invisible according to your orders. Give him a name—he has one already, and so have I, but you would not be able to pronounce either of them. Good-bye.”

He vanished.

Hotchkiss stood smiling all sorts of pleasant smiles of intricatealteration in the MS and variegated pattern at his little devil, with the idea of making him understand how welcome he was; and he said to himself, “It's a bitter climate for him, poor little rascal, the fire will go down and he will freeze; I wish I knew how to tell him to run home and warm himself whenever he wants to.”

He brought blankets and made signs to himalteration in the MS that these were for him to wrap up in; then he began to pile wood on the fire, but the red strangeralteration in the MS took that work promptly off his hands, and did the work like an expert—which he was. Then he sat down on the fire and began to study his book, and his new master took the candle and went away to bed, meditating a name for him. “He is a dear little devil,” he said, “and must have a nice one.” So he named him Edward Nicholson Hotchkiss—after a brother that was dead.

Editorial Emendations Chapter 5
  regrettable ●  regretable
  figuratively ●  figurately
  revealed ●  revevealed
  enterprise ●  enterprize
  once ●  onece
  differentiate ●  differentiates
Alterations in the Manuscript Chapter 5
 my father] follows canceled ‘had’.
 mind.] followed by canceled quotation marks.
 

“I shall . . . to me.”] added to verso of the MS page with the instruction ‘over’, following canceled ‘And begin right at the very beginning, will you?”

‘ “If you like.” ’ on recto; the quotation marks following ‘won't you?’ added.

 caught] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘took’.
 ago,] the comma mended from a period; followed by canceled quotation marks.
 cannot] followed by canceled ‘quite’.
 eternity] followed by canceled ‘of’.
 about] ‘nearly’ interlined with a caret then canceled and ‘about’ interlined above it.
 lived] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘been’.
 yet] interlined with a caret.
 light] follows canceled ‘sparkle’.
 but the planets] follows canceled ‘th’.
 I read . . . school.] added to verso of the MS page with the instruction ‘over’.
 Adam's happiness] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘it’.
 less than] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘only’.
 “Less than] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘ “Only’.
 —the . . . unhappily.”] added to end of line; the dash mended from a period; ‘the’ written over quotation marks.
 go to,] ‘to,’ interlined with a caret; a comma following ‘go’ canceled.
 Savior.”] originally ‘Savior.—My’; ‘—My’ canceled; the quotation marks added.
 other] interlined with a caret.
 “I did] ‘did’ written over ‘do’.
 at the time.”] Added to end of line following canceled period and quotation marks.
 “Why didn't] ‘didn't’ written over ‘don't’.
 hear of it] ‘it’ interlined with a caret before canceled ‘the incident’.
 father until I got back;] interlined with a caret at the end of the line above canceled ‘father until yesterday when I got back—that is to say, a thousand years ago by your reckoning;’. Canceled ‘when I got back’ interlined with a caret.
 was erroneous?”] followed by canceled paragraphs ‘ “No.” ’ and ‘ “I wish I knew what the error was.” ’
 human beings the] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘the eater of it the’.
 between good and evil] interlined with a caret.
 Did] written over ‘Does’.
 says] followed by a canceled comma.
  evil.] followed by canceled quotation marks.
 in other words] follows canceled ‘it’.
 You do not] ‘You’ written over wiped-out ‘Do’.
 death or sleep;] interlined with a caret.
 fear] follows canceled ‘do’.
 fork and] interlined with a caret.
 sorry when dead] ‘sorry’ interlined with a caret following canceled ‘naturally sorry’.
 but] followed by canceled ‘I’.
 burden of] interlined wtih a caret.
 size and] interlined with a caret.
 poisoned condition and] interlined with a caret.
 the cunning] follows canceled ‘that’.
 take them,] originally ‘put them out’; ‘put’ and ‘out’ canceled; ‘take’ interlined with a caret; the comma added.
 pleasant . . . intricate] follows canceled ‘intricate’.
 signs to him] ‘to him’ interlined with a caret.
 red stranger] interlined with a caret above canceled ‘small fiend’; ‘fiend’ interlined with a caret.
Textual Notes Chapter 5
 MTPO Note: On MS page 113, Twain drew a short horizontal line between the line ending "simultaneously" and the line beginning "I was born." The white space inserted between these two lines on page 213 of the 1969 print edition refers to this graphic mark in the manuscript.
 revealed] The manuscript actually reads “re-/vevealed.” Originally, the word was inscribed as “re-/vealed.” In reviewing his work, Mark Twain evidently misread the “v” in “vealed” as an “r” and interlined “ve” with a caret.
Explanatory Notes Chapter 5
 “A day with us, is as a thousand years with you.”] Compare Psalms 90:4, “For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night,” and the words of the hymn, “O, God, our help in ages past.”
  man is prone to evil as the sparks to fly upward] MT alters the reading of Job 5:7, “Yet man is born unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward.”